Friendship (s)....

Friends. 

Not a common word used in my vocabulary at the moment..

Why? Well, God has given me so many friends over the years. Some were friends for childhood. Some for teenage years. Then some as adulthood.

I still hold such a special place in my heart for my friend from childhood. We grew up so much together. We weren't afraid to be ourselves through those awkward times of growth. She was the first who i remember talking of God with. She and her family prayed at dinners together and listened to Christian music. She loved to sing. Amy Grant always! LOL My family at the time wasn't going to church so it was something new for me. Different schools. Different choices as we grew up and that was it. 

My friends over my teenage years were the group of youth in our church. Talk about a comfort zone for me! I loved being silly and crazy with them. I loved that there was no judgment for being me. I loved them like family. We were together some weeks 4 our of the 7 days of the week. Some weeks even more. When the girls would spend the night.

My adulthood friendships have been family. I have had some come into my life and go that quick. For me friendship as an adult, married, with kids, and my own schedule is hard! It's work. Work I'm not willing to do or sacrifice my own family for. I couldn't imagine picking a friend over my spouse or my kids. And those that were in and out that quick were in need of my friendship at the time. 

Friends come,

Friends go,

But a true friends is there 

to watch you grow. 

I can think of one friend that has been there the last 30 years. 

That friend loves me sacrificially. I love that friend in the equal amount.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:13

That friend accepts me unconditionally. 

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

Proverbs 17:17

This friend truly accepts me and forgives me. The same goes from me to that friend.

This friend understands boundaries.

"love is patient, love is kind, love isn't envious...."

1 Corinthians 13:4

This friend doesn't smother. This friend is joyous while I'm rejoicing. This friend truly looks out for me and desires the best for me. The same goes from me to this friend.

Some of the greatest friendships in the bible that comes to mind is Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathan, and Mary, Martha, Lazarus and Jesus. 

You can see clearly the love that they all had for one another. Ruth loved Naomi so much she wanted to stick by Ruth's side forever. Jonathan saved David's life. David's love for Jonathan is shown through the tears of deep sorrow of knowing they would have to say goodbye. Then the sibling relationship together with Jesus was such sacrificial love and service. Jesus loved them the same. And they wept together. I know there are so many other friendship stories in the Bible. These are just a few off the top of my head. 

I have had one friend that has been there for me and has been the best for me. 

That friend is my sister!!  

My sister Knows all my faults. Yet she still loves me! I know that I can be ugly at times. I know that I can be selfish at times. I know that what comes out of my mouth is something that shouldn't have been said. Yet, she still loves me and is quick to forgive me!

My sister knows how to LOVE. She knows how to love the easy to love and the hard to love. She has taught me the heart always has room to love and be available. She can always see the other side of a story. So she can quickly get me off my high horse about something and bring me down to reality. That reality is love first. 

My sister knows the importance of family. She truly understands boundaries. She would never ask or expect me to put her before my kids. She loves my kids as her own. She loves my husband like a brother. She would be there for him just as she is for me. I love that she is my family and my friend. 

My sister knows it all. She keeps my secrets and she is available to listen to anything. Even if it doesn't pertain to her directly. She takes interest in my life. She is invested.

Us not just being friends but sisters as well is truly what I call unique. I know not another friendship that is sister related. I know that God has truly given us each other. He has blessed us tremendously! We have shared so much together. The birth of my children. The whole adoption process with her boys. We have shared tears of joy. Tears of being angry. She is such a fantastic person. I wish I was willing to share her with you. But...I'm not! :) 

She has been a great example of the true genuine friendship. 

If you have seen or experienced this type of friendship you have been blessed! This true genuine Christ like friendship is hard to come by. 

I give God the Glory for the relationship I have with my sister. She is such an amazing friend and sibling! 

I love you Nan!

Many Blessings To YOU!! 

My Testimony

I don't feel that we Christians tell our testimony often enough. 

I could listen to people's testimonies everyday. I just love it! 

I use to feel my testimony wasn't as top notch or moving as other people's testimonies...

I wasn't a gang banger or drug dealer. I didn't serve time in prison...I wasn't an atheist. 

I didn't come to know the Lord in a bar on a Saturday night....

My testimony started with I was 10. 

It was the summer and my parents were going to Falls Creek with the church as a sponsor. I wasn't old enough to be a student there. I got to go to the sponsors kid's classes. It was wonderful! So much fun from what I remember. About two days into the week, I began to feel heavy. 

I remember saying something to my mom about it one evening. Remember, I wasn't "old enough" to participate as a student there. But I did get to hear the same sermons as everyone else. I felt my parents were there for those kids who was old enough to be there. I didn't want to take away from them. So I didn't bring it back up.

One evening after evening service I was laying on the bottom bunk and just knew for certain I was needing to say "the prayer". The one we all know...It wasn't until we got home from camp that I really started asking more questions to my parents. Once my parents felt that I truly was having a full understanding of this commitment, they called our minister at the time, Tommy Henson. Tommy was gracious to come to the house to speak to me. He informed me that the next step was baptism! I was super excited! So, that's what I did.

I do believe 89% of what people tell me. I'm what you would call gullible...So believing wasn't a battle for me. I could look outside and around me and just know that something more had to do with what I was seeing. Believing in God was not an issue. Too many wonderful things were present to just think they happened. Believing then and believing now, isn't an issue. 

Step through the next few years of me being a Christian...

I was very black and white. There was a major right and a major wrong decision/choice. There wasn't anything in between. I strived for perfection. I was told I was "as perfect as perfect can be". Which has two sides...

1. I really believed I was near perfect

2. I didn't fail at things I tried

This is good and bad context of being taken. 

What I am about to say will be awful to some and you will think I am crazy or it will resemble your feelings. I seriously felt like I was the best of the best. Almost better than most people. Due to the lack of failing.  Anything I tried, I was successful.

I was also good at pleasing others (and enjoyed being a people pleaser). So it always felt as if i was being pretty darn close to perfect. 

 "I wasn't a sinner like most." I stayed far away from the line of good and bad, the right and wrong choices. I didn't come close to going over "the" line.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized I wasn't not perfect or anywhere near being perfect. I really was starting to understand grace. It is okay if  I get close to the line and i have discovered that the line isn't as thin as I once believed. God allows the space for messing up and making the wrong choices. God's grace and mercy is what I have really been learning the last several years. I have discovered that even though I am not perfect no matter how hard I try, I know that God's grace and mercy will never end. It is everlasting. 

I have truly recognized my need for Him and the dependence that is a MUST! 

Because God has been merciful to us, we have a reason to be merciful in our actions toward those who are in need. 

We must 

"be merciful, just as our Father also is merciful"

Luke 6:36

Mercy is one of God's communicable attributes, meaning that he shares it with us and expects it from us. 

When I came across that verse I truly felt like the doors came crashing open and the flood gates were being rushed over me. Here I was thinking I was better than a certain person due to whatever reason and I clearly am not. I should show them grace and mercy that God has showed me thorough out my life so far.

If we belong to him, if we are being delivered from sin because of God's mercy, we have a reason to to always and forever grateful to our heavenly Father. We should be singing right along wit the psalmist,

 "I will sing of the mercies of the LORD forever"

Psalm 89:1

Or with Horatio Spafford when he writes in his hymn, It Is Well with My Soul:

...Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,

And hath shed His own blood for my should.

...Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O my soul!

My testimony many not be quite as moving to a person who truly was in the depths of the darkness. But, surly to someone who has stood tried and true through the time of their walk. We all have ups and downs in our relationship with Christ. However it's the constant up hills that we continue to do that means a lot. 

Hope you enjoyed!

Many Blessings To YOU!! 

Survival...

Our school life is a tad bid different. When I say tad...I mean it is drastically different. 

I use to have a schedule for our day. Each kid new what was happening and what was about to happen. We started our morning with breakfast at the table and followed by calendar time. Then school all together at the table. We did this until everyone was finished for the day.

 Now, we wake up when we get up and eat breakfast on the couch under blankets. Then we play or color or even watch more TV. 

I do school separately with each kid. 

Why this change you ask? 

We are surviving here people. Two, 1 year olds who "rule" the house and what happens. That's why! It's easier to sit and do school singularly with BL and the twins crawling over me. Then to manage two doing different grades while I'm pretending to be a jungle gym... 

Everyday we get our essentials in. 

They just are done in different ways than before. 

We do it cooking, in side walk chalk, we do it orally, we have done it on the computer through games and card games. 

Some days we haven't gotten to school until my husband gets home. 

It has taken me a little bit to mentally adjust to this style we are doing. This season that I am in. It really had me down and truly second guessing myself. But guess what!?!?! My kids are still learning! Bear is READING! She is adding and spelling beautifully. She is doing above her level. BL is above his level. He is showing me some major critical thinking on how he thinks and his math skills are out of this world (scares me how he thinks with math)! He loves history & geography. Everything he can soak in about history he is there and doing it. He is infatuated with our Presidents. We have several books just about our presidents history and their stories before coming president. 

They are getting more real life these day. We have been camping more this summer and that gets LOTS of extra science and life skills in. Picture above Carl and BL are using magnifying glass to start "fire". We only allowed smoke :) 

Carl is coaching both of the kids soccer teams this year! I have never enjoyed anything more than I do watching him coach our kids & nephews. Brings tears just to think about this man and the love I have for him. I just LOVE us!

I have had to go back and remind myself why we are homeschooling the last few months. I have had to remind myself that we are still accomplishing what our goals are. Just in a different way. I had to reevaluate. Which is okay!! I know that our children are still growing in so many ways. I am growing in so many ways! Our marriage is growing right along. So many things are going right! 

They're just TOO cute to not have this to show!

In a couple months we will be out of the up hill we are in for our school. We will reach the top and when we do, it will be quite the sight! I will look back on this segment of our life and praise the Lord that He got us through the not so easy times. 

James 1:1-13

Specifically has spoke to me. I have not questioned God's goodness. But perhaps his wisdom in our homeschool journey. But, God is the one who gave us more children. I know that he is bringing me though this trial (and error) of life right now. Our journey this season has been lots of TRUST. Trusting in each other. Trusting in ourselves. and foremost TRUSTING God! And through all this trials God is giving more wisdom. The last few months I just keep asking God for wisdom and guidance. God has given me acceptance to how our schoolhouse is right now. I still need to be reminded time to time. 

There are purposes for God's trials. 

That purpose is to remind us (me) He is still in control!

Many Blessings To YOU!!!

Wow! Been Awhile. Lots of new things happening.

Just to start off instead of it lingering. We are expecting! We will be meeting a little girl in February! This will be gift number five for us!

We have really start to prepare for this one quick. 

She will be here within a blink of an eye! Lots of holiday's coming up and this time of year just goes by quick naturally.  

With three in diapers, we have decided to take a hand at cloth diapering. I am excited to get my stock together starting. 

Homeschool has been a new learning experience in our home. With two one year old in the house we have had to work more at school and schedule. I say schedule..but I truly mean NO schedule. While they are napping that's when we get most of the schooling done. Some days we wait till dad gets home to finish up some of the things that needs more emphasis. 

Speaking of dad...he is now working for a different company here in our town. He got into a really big wreck in May.

His breaks failed and slammed right into another semi. Praise the Lord that he was alive and okay!

Other than several internal bruises and external scrapes he was able to (almost) walk away. The paramedics of course didn't allow that. With few weeks of physical therapy he was back on his feet. After the wreck, he knew how hard it would be to continue to drive the semi. 

God truly works in some crazy mysterious ways! With this wreck opened a door to a local company. A local company that's values are so close to ours. He has really enjoyed the move and job change. 

The last several months my heart has been heavy. Heavy with the mercy that God showed with my husbands wreck. Heavy with our decision of homeschooling still. Heavy with job change and the finical side that always brings. Heavy with the new arrival coming. 

In all those things and many many more, I have been overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed easily. 

In anytime that I feel this way, this verse is thrown in my direction. It is one of my favorites. I also have to listen to the Ricky Skaggs song Lead Me to the Rock. 

Many Blessings To YOU!!!