Mommahood and the Never-ending Gratitude

This is the time of year that we are suppose to be thankful. Thankful for everything. 

Being thankful comes easy for me. I love showing my endless thanks and extending a note of thanks via the postal service (which is used not enough these days). 

I am thankful for so many things. I have previously expressed the MANY people I am thankful for and the things I am thankful for. 

This post will simply be on being a mom. 

A title I never thought I would have. I never had the desire to be a mom. I never even day dreamed of what being a mom would be like. I never played the mom roll growing up when we were role playing together growing up. I vividly remember being cast in a mom role for a Christmas play at school. It was the role I didn't want or care to be in. I of course did stick with the role because my "daughter" in the play was also my best friend. 

Fast forward a few several years and I am now married. We never really talked much of kids... We seemed to have the agreement that it wasn't a plan for quite some time. Needless to say, we were married for a whole THREE months when I found out I was pregnant!!! 

Back to that mom title...the one I wasn't expecting for a very long time. Yea, it was approaching QUICK! 

After he made his debut few days after our 1 year anniversary. 

I have spoke of our Baby Love previously. He is such a remarkable boy. He has been super easy as my first baby. He is pretty much the ideal cookie cutter child you could ask for. He was a great introduction to momma hood. 

From that moment on, I KNEW I was made to be a mom. I always assumed I wouldn't be a good mom. I just figured that I would be uptight and not fun. From what I've been told from the greatest mom (my mom) I am a good mom and not what we ALL assumed of me. Whew! I lucked out there!! 

My husband knew best. We ended up having more children and I am ever SO glad I followed his lead. These kids have been such a blessing that I can't NOT be thankful for.

- I am thankful for being called mom, momma, mommy, help, and even bob.

- I am thankful for the kisses.

- I am thankful for all the silly jokes my older two make up.

- I am thankful for the sleepless nights.

- I am thankful for their forgiveness. I am still learning this title and role.

-I am thankful I get to stay home with them.

- I am thankful for noisy children.

- I am thankful for the quiet game.

-I am thankful the health of my children. Oldest is 8 1/2 and none has been on an antibiotic.

- I am thankful for my second child's free spirit. She gives me a good challenge for the day.

- I am thankful for hand me downs. 

- I am thankful for those deep down gut belly laughs. Has to be my favorite sound in the world!

- I am thankful for naps.

-I am thankful I get to homeschool them.

- I am thankful for baby wipes. They are used for almost everything here at home.

- I am thankful that all my kids are creative in some sort of form. 

- I am thankful they have all been great sleepers.

- I am thankful they have a strong desire for the Lord at such an early age.

- I am thankful they get along and enjoy each other.

- I am thankful that Bear doesn't let me get away with no laundry. She thinks she lives at Downton Abbey for how many times she changes her clothes a day. 

- I am thankful that I have support system that is remarkable to make being a mom easier.

- I am thankful I don't have to share their firsts with daycare workers.

- I am thankful that I get to see their "ah ha" moments during school.

- I am thankful to hear daily prayers from my kids.

- I am thankful they grow on a beautiful curve.

- I am thankful they are all different.

Four of my 5 gifts to be thankful for!

- I am thankful to be called MOM!

This title I have been given is by far the most special title and role I have ever been given. I give thanks for my children. I give thanks to the lord for my children! 

Being a mom has stretched me beyond anything I could imagine. Sometimes I react in a way that brings me to my knees with tears and deep regret. That's when I am so thankful my kids are the most forgiving beings. I am thankful that my God is quick to forgive me. Other times I do things and I'm like "heck ya! I'm pretty amazing!!". That I contribute to my mom. She was and is a fantastic mom! 

Some days I feel I have failed. Nothing I did or said was a success. But they still love me. They still call me mom. On those days I just have to ask for forgiveness and give it to the Lord.

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall."

Psalm 55:22

My children are a gift from Him. He gave me some wonderful gifts. Not only with my kids but the huge sacrifice of His son. 

I have so many things to be thankful for during this season. But my heart has been overwhelmed with thanksgiving of being a mom! 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Many Blessings To YOU!!!

Friendship (s)....

Friends. 

Not a common word used in my vocabulary at the moment..

Why? Well, God has given me so many friends over the years. Some were friends for childhood. Some for teenage years. Then some as adulthood.

I still hold such a special place in my heart for my friend from childhood. We grew up so much together. We weren't afraid to be ourselves through those awkward times of growth. She was the first who i remember talking of God with. She and her family prayed at dinners together and listened to Christian music. She loved to sing. Amy Grant always! LOL My family at the time wasn't going to church so it was something new for me. Different schools. Different choices as we grew up and that was it. 

My friends over my teenage years were the group of youth in our church. Talk about a comfort zone for me! I loved being silly and crazy with them. I loved that there was no judgment for being me. I loved them like family. We were together some weeks 4 our of the 7 days of the week. Some weeks even more. When the girls would spend the night.

My adulthood friendships have been family. I have had some come into my life and go that quick. For me friendship as an adult, married, with kids, and my own schedule is hard! It's work. Work I'm not willing to do or sacrifice my own family for. I couldn't imagine picking a friend over my spouse or my kids. And those that were in and out that quick were in need of my friendship at the time. 

Friends come,

Friends go,

But a true friends is there 

to watch you grow. 

I can think of one friend that has been there the last 30 years. 

That friend loves me sacrificially. I love that friend in the equal amount.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:13

That friend accepts me unconditionally. 

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

Proverbs 17:17

This friend truly accepts me and forgives me. The same goes from me to that friend.

This friend understands boundaries.

"love is patient, love is kind, love isn't envious...."

1 Corinthians 13:4

This friend doesn't smother. This friend is joyous while I'm rejoicing. This friend truly looks out for me and desires the best for me. The same goes from me to this friend.

Some of the greatest friendships in the bible that comes to mind is Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathan, and Mary, Martha, Lazarus and Jesus. 

You can see clearly the love that they all had for one another. Ruth loved Naomi so much she wanted to stick by Ruth's side forever. Jonathan saved David's life. David's love for Jonathan is shown through the tears of deep sorrow of knowing they would have to say goodbye. Then the sibling relationship together with Jesus was such sacrificial love and service. Jesus loved them the same. And they wept together. I know there are so many other friendship stories in the Bible. These are just a few off the top of my head. 

I have had one friend that has been there for me and has been the best for me. 

That friend is my sister!!  

My sister Knows all my faults. Yet she still loves me! I know that I can be ugly at times. I know that I can be selfish at times. I know that what comes out of my mouth is something that shouldn't have been said. Yet, she still loves me and is quick to forgive me!

My sister knows how to LOVE. She knows how to love the easy to love and the hard to love. She has taught me the heart always has room to love and be available. She can always see the other side of a story. So she can quickly get me off my high horse about something and bring me down to reality. That reality is love first. 

My sister knows the importance of family. She truly understands boundaries. She would never ask or expect me to put her before my kids. She loves my kids as her own. She loves my husband like a brother. She would be there for him just as she is for me. I love that she is my family and my friend. 

My sister knows it all. She keeps my secrets and she is available to listen to anything. Even if it doesn't pertain to her directly. She takes interest in my life. She is invested.

Us not just being friends but sisters as well is truly what I call unique. I know not another friendship that is sister related. I know that God has truly given us each other. He has blessed us tremendously! We have shared so much together. The birth of my children. The whole adoption process with her boys. We have shared tears of joy. Tears of being angry. She is such a fantastic person. I wish I was willing to share her with you. But...I'm not! :) 

She has been a great example of the true genuine friendship. 

If you have seen or experienced this type of friendship you have been blessed! This true genuine Christ like friendship is hard to come by. 

I give God the Glory for the relationship I have with my sister. She is such an amazing friend and sibling! 

I love you Nan!

Many Blessings To YOU!! 

My Testimony

I don't feel that we Christians tell our testimony often enough. 

I could listen to people's testimonies everyday. I just love it! 

I use to feel my testimony wasn't as top notch or moving as other people's testimonies...

I wasn't a gang banger or drug dealer. I didn't serve time in prison...I wasn't an atheist. 

I didn't come to know the Lord in a bar on a Saturday night....

My testimony started with I was 10. 

It was the summer and my parents were going to Falls Creek with the church as a sponsor. I wasn't old enough to be a student there. I got to go to the sponsors kid's classes. It was wonderful! So much fun from what I remember. About two days into the week, I began to feel heavy. 

I remember saying something to my mom about it one evening. Remember, I wasn't "old enough" to participate as a student there. But I did get to hear the same sermons as everyone else. I felt my parents were there for those kids who was old enough to be there. I didn't want to take away from them. So I didn't bring it back up.

One evening after evening service I was laying on the bottom bunk and just knew for certain I was needing to say "the prayer". The one we all know...It wasn't until we got home from camp that I really started asking more questions to my parents. Once my parents felt that I truly was having a full understanding of this commitment, they called our minister at the time, Tommy Henson. Tommy was gracious to come to the house to speak to me. He informed me that the next step was baptism! I was super excited! So, that's what I did.

I do believe 89% of what people tell me. I'm what you would call gullible...So believing wasn't a battle for me. I could look outside and around me and just know that something more had to do with what I was seeing. Believing in God was not an issue. Too many wonderful things were present to just think they happened. Believing then and believing now, isn't an issue. 

Step through the next few years of me being a Christian...

I was very black and white. There was a major right and a major wrong decision/choice. There wasn't anything in between. I strived for perfection. I was told I was "as perfect as perfect can be". Which has two sides...

1. I really believed I was near perfect

2. I didn't fail at things I tried

This is good and bad context of being taken. 

What I am about to say will be awful to some and you will think I am crazy or it will resemble your feelings. I seriously felt like I was the best of the best. Almost better than most people. Due to the lack of failing.  Anything I tried, I was successful.

I was also good at pleasing others (and enjoyed being a people pleaser). So it always felt as if i was being pretty darn close to perfect. 

 "I wasn't a sinner like most." I stayed far away from the line of good and bad, the right and wrong choices. I didn't come close to going over "the" line.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized I wasn't not perfect or anywhere near being perfect. I really was starting to understand grace. It is okay if  I get close to the line and i have discovered that the line isn't as thin as I once believed. God allows the space for messing up and making the wrong choices. God's grace and mercy is what I have really been learning the last several years. I have discovered that even though I am not perfect no matter how hard I try, I know that God's grace and mercy will never end. It is everlasting. 

I have truly recognized my need for Him and the dependence that is a MUST! 

Because God has been merciful to us, we have a reason to be merciful in our actions toward those who are in need. 

We must 

"be merciful, just as our Father also is merciful"

Luke 6:36

Mercy is one of God's communicable attributes, meaning that he shares it with us and expects it from us. 

When I came across that verse I truly felt like the doors came crashing open and the flood gates were being rushed over me. Here I was thinking I was better than a certain person due to whatever reason and I clearly am not. I should show them grace and mercy that God has showed me thorough out my life so far.

If we belong to him, if we are being delivered from sin because of God's mercy, we have a reason to to always and forever grateful to our heavenly Father. We should be singing right along wit the psalmist,

 "I will sing of the mercies of the LORD forever"

Psalm 89:1

Or with Horatio Spafford when he writes in his hymn, It Is Well with My Soul:

...Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,

And hath shed His own blood for my should.

...Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O my soul!

My testimony many not be quite as moving to a person who truly was in the depths of the darkness. But, surly to someone who has stood tried and true through the time of their walk. We all have ups and downs in our relationship with Christ. However it's the constant up hills that we continue to do that means a lot. 

Hope you enjoyed!

Many Blessings To YOU!! 

Survival...

Our school life is a tad bid different. When I say tad...I mean it is drastically different. 

I use to have a schedule for our day. Each kid new what was happening and what was about to happen. We started our morning with breakfast at the table and followed by calendar time. Then school all together at the table. We did this until everyone was finished for the day.

 Now, we wake up when we get up and eat breakfast on the couch under blankets. Then we play or color or even watch more TV. 

I do school separately with each kid. 

Why this change you ask? 

We are surviving here people. Two, 1 year olds who "rule" the house and what happens. That's why! It's easier to sit and do school singularly with BL and the twins crawling over me. Then to manage two doing different grades while I'm pretending to be a jungle gym... 

Everyday we get our essentials in. 

They just are done in different ways than before. 

We do it cooking, in side walk chalk, we do it orally, we have done it on the computer through games and card games. 

Some days we haven't gotten to school until my husband gets home. 

It has taken me a little bit to mentally adjust to this style we are doing. This season that I am in. It really had me down and truly second guessing myself. But guess what!?!?! My kids are still learning! Bear is READING! She is adding and spelling beautifully. She is doing above her level. BL is above his level. He is showing me some major critical thinking on how he thinks and his math skills are out of this world (scares me how he thinks with math)! He loves history & geography. Everything he can soak in about history he is there and doing it. He is infatuated with our Presidents. We have several books just about our presidents history and their stories before coming president. 

They are getting more real life these day. We have been camping more this summer and that gets LOTS of extra science and life skills in. Picture above Carl and BL are using magnifying glass to start "fire". We only allowed smoke :) 

Carl is coaching both of the kids soccer teams this year! I have never enjoyed anything more than I do watching him coach our kids & nephews. Brings tears just to think about this man and the love I have for him. I just LOVE us!

I have had to go back and remind myself why we are homeschooling the last few months. I have had to remind myself that we are still accomplishing what our goals are. Just in a different way. I had to reevaluate. Which is okay!! I know that our children are still growing in so many ways. I am growing in so many ways! Our marriage is growing right along. So many things are going right! 

They're just TOO cute to not have this to show!

In a couple months we will be out of the up hill we are in for our school. We will reach the top and when we do, it will be quite the sight! I will look back on this segment of our life and praise the Lord that He got us through the not so easy times. 

James 1:1-13

Specifically has spoke to me. I have not questioned God's goodness. But perhaps his wisdom in our homeschool journey. But, God is the one who gave us more children. I know that he is bringing me though this trial (and error) of life right now. Our journey this season has been lots of TRUST. Trusting in each other. Trusting in ourselves. and foremost TRUSTING God! And through all this trials God is giving more wisdom. The last few months I just keep asking God for wisdom and guidance. God has given me acceptance to how our schoolhouse is right now. I still need to be reminded time to time. 

There are purposes for God's trials. 

That purpose is to remind us (me) He is still in control!

Many Blessings To YOU!!!

Wow! Been Awhile. Lots of new things happening.

Just to start off instead of it lingering. We are expecting! We will be meeting a little girl in February! This will be gift number five for us!

We have really start to prepare for this one quick. 

She will be here within a blink of an eye! Lots of holiday's coming up and this time of year just goes by quick naturally.  

With three in diapers, we have decided to take a hand at cloth diapering. I am excited to get my stock together starting. 

Homeschool has been a new learning experience in our home. With two one year old in the house we have had to work more at school and schedule. I say schedule..but I truly mean NO schedule. While they are napping that's when we get most of the schooling done. Some days we wait till dad gets home to finish up some of the things that needs more emphasis. 

Speaking of dad...he is now working for a different company here in our town. He got into a really big wreck in May.

His breaks failed and slammed right into another semi. Praise the Lord that he was alive and okay!

Other than several internal bruises and external scrapes he was able to (almost) walk away. The paramedics of course didn't allow that. With few weeks of physical therapy he was back on his feet. After the wreck, he knew how hard it would be to continue to drive the semi. 

God truly works in some crazy mysterious ways! With this wreck opened a door to a local company. A local company that's values are so close to ours. He has really enjoyed the move and job change. 

The last several months my heart has been heavy. Heavy with the mercy that God showed with my husbands wreck. Heavy with our decision of homeschooling still. Heavy with job change and the finical side that always brings. Heavy with the new arrival coming. 

In all those things and many many more, I have been overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed easily. 

In anytime that I feel this way, this verse is thrown in my direction. It is one of my favorites. I also have to listen to the Ricky Skaggs song Lead Me to the Rock. 

Many Blessings To YOU!!! 

Thank You Mom!

Thank you mom for guiding me in the way of The Lord. 

Thank you for raising me up in a home that loved The Lord. 

I truly believe that everyday we are to appreciate your parents. However, now that I am a mom, I just can truly see how much appreciation should be given. 

Thank you mom for loving me on those ugly days! 

Thank you mom for loving me on the pretty days!

Thank you for making me feel so special in everything at all times. 

Thank you for never missing one of my activities. 

You have sacrificed so much for me. I now know of that sacrificial love. 

Thank you making sure I had clean clothes. 

Without you mom, I wouldn't be who I am today. 

You have taught me how to be a mom to my kids. I have learned from you! You are the best! 

Thank you for showing me that family comes first! 

Thank you for making me sit and practice the piano!

Your job wasn't easy. It wasn't always fun. You had to take the blunt of some things. You did all of this because you love me so much! Thank you for all of it! 

Thank you for not making me worry growing up. 

Thank you for being an even better Gigi! 

You are such a beautiful person. 

Thank you for making me laugh when I didn't want to!

Thank you for doing silly things that made some great memories! 

You simply amaze me with your strength. 

Emotional strength, physical strength, and overall strength. 

You have such an amazing testimony of what God has done with you and your health! You truly lift me up with what The Lord has done for you. 

Thank you for EVERYTHING!!! 

I have so much more to thank you for..

I love you so much!!! 

Many Blessings To YOU!! 

Been Awhile...

I haven't been doing my blog thing for a few months... I have several reason why I haven't, and I have several reasons why I wish I was. 

I have all these blogs I subscribe to and people I follow on Pinterest and Facebook of the blogs. They make life seem so glorious. There isn't any ups and downs. They're all ups. There isn't any kicking and screaming days from their children or food fights. I have really been struggling with this altered reality of their life and my life.

 

I have stopped reading their blogs...

I have stopped following them on Facebook...

I have stopped following them on Instagram and even Pinterest... 

All the information pooling in from clean house and chore charts for kids, along with the perfect homeschool schedule and the eager learners that don't put up a fight of when school should start. I began to get VERY overwhelmed and burned out. 

I started to question if my kids are learning everything they should be every single day. I started questioning if my house was up to standards. Even if I should be having my children do chores...

None of the blogs, photos on Instagram, the amazing posts on Pinterest and Facebook ever talked about what their real life was. 

Life is...and can be messy! 

My house is messy...

My organizational skills are way out of whack right now...

My kids do school, when I poke and prod  them to start... 

I always have laundry waiting to be washed...

There are MUCH more things that are messy. 

I was needing a refreshing break from all the incoming altered material coming in that I was reading and comparing. 

I know for sure their lives have to be messy at some point as well. We are all messy at certain times in our lives and it comes in waves. 

I may have all what I listed above but I have a God who LOVES messy people. He welcomes all the garbage that comes with life. He is eager to build me up and make me not quite so messy inside. That is what I have been reflecting on. 

Who cares if I have laundry waiting on me or the dishes ready to move from the sink to the dishwasher. 

Who cares if we start school at noon instead of 9am. 

Who cares our children don't have a chore chart all color coded and in a neat binder. To be honest, our children have zero chores!

All that matters is:

Our children are loved by their Heavenly Father who has put everything out there for them! And that they learn to love The Lord with all their heart and all their strength.

Along with they know that we love them and they never have to worry about food, money, or the house. And family is always first! 

We have been ever so blessed with wonderful gifted children. 

I have come to realize that it is okay that I'm messy because Christ has came to clean me up. 

I have also realized not to compare my home and what we do in school to those who have the false reality. 

Thanks for taking the time to read my previous posts and this current one!

Blogging truly is a great output of my mind. And it means a lot that I have people who love and support me and my family!!

Many Blessings To YOU!!!

Remain

I am not a New Years Resolution maker. I do feel that there are obvious things to learn from the years that have past. 

This year, I have decided to come up with a word that I can just think of to help remind me of my priorities. That word is REMAIN. 

John 15:4-17

Commonly preached scripture. The Vine and the Branches. I am remaining in Christ so that means that I am to produce the qualities of Christ. I am to glorify God in ALL that I do. In order to do that, I am to remain in him and stay close to God. God will nurture me to blossom in his direction and at the right moment for his glory. 

I choose to follow Jesus, because he is my friend. 

Love. I have spoke about love before. And will continue to! Christians will continue to get hate from the world. We are called to LOVE each other. Support each other. Jesus commands it and will give us the strength to do so. We need to stand firm together. Find other believers to stand firm with.

Told you I would keep speaking of love.

"..now these three remain:

 faith, hope and love. 

But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:13

Love is an attribute of God himself. Love involves some of the most UNselfish motives. It SHOWS someone that you truly care. Love is an action! When you have faith and hope in line and in focus with God, you are free to love completely because you understand how God loves.

I've said it before. Love is one of the hardest thing for me to show. I have gotten better. Such a daily prayer for me. It is easy to show towards my family. But, lots to get over myself in order to truly love strangers. 

"If we are faithless,

he will remain faithful,

for he cannot disown himself."

2 Timothy 2:13

Jesus is faithful. He will stay by our side even when we endured so much and seem to be alone. He IS there!! I am not of this world, so I do feel alone at times. I just remind myself that this isn't where I call home. I will one day be called home. That is what I am living for now. And those lonely times I have here on Earth, I can be reminded that Jesus remains faithful to me, his follower!

"...You remain the same, and your years will never end."

Hebrews 1:12

Christ remains the same. He is changeless. The hymn "On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand" really reminds me of Christ's never chaining state.

"...the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not meed anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things as that anoint is real, not counterfeit-just as it has taught you, remain in him."

1 John 2:27

We can put our total trust in him, rely on him for guidance and strength, and live as Christ wants us (me) to live. Life long personal relationship with Christ. 

This all circles back to the beginning. John talked about this exact thing with Christ as the vine and his followers as the branches. 

To stay true and discern the truth we must be in the word. Remaining in Christ.

Happy New Year to you!

Many Blessings To YOU!!!